[Moosik: Sara Bareilles - Love Song]

how do you exactly speak out your heart when it's almost moribund?its skipping almost every beat by the thought that you just told someone off that they're not who they were to you.when infact, your heart desperately needs that person.now look at what wrath and vindictiveness has made of you.it has turned to remorse and confusion.I admit, I say the wrong things where my feelings are concerned.Its like a wildfire.I fuelled and fired off ceaselessly.I cant control,I cant think, I cant devote.how tired i am,how selfish we are, how such abuse you can verbalize on me, how i hate to feel guilty every single time, how much i think i'm broken and hurt time after time,how much i cant stand such accusations you triggered on me...those were the only things that were featured in my mind the whole time.and i regret.for a few times, i regret.bcos i felt that it was okay to be the villian this time round.to trigger back on you.because most of the time, i have put my feelings aside for you.i kept my mouth dummied-up when you yelled at me, and then when youve mellowed down,i'd talk it out with you.and why? i've promised myself from the start that you wont have to owe me my joy and happiness.all of it only comes from within me.and that i assured myself that i will love you,good or bad,i will love you the way you are.and you have always been all ears to listen to what i have to say even if it means that i've to deal with so much ordeal.you always do.and that for all the reasons in the world,no fight is worth a thought.its easy in a hard way to say this..but..my star, please shine on me like you always do?i need you back here and now, i can't negate that.i am not used to being deserted this way.

so i guess i'm only capable of burning my thoughts away by reading Camilla Way's The dead of summer in place of the essential phonecall routine.what is a girl to do in this basket-case situation anyway?

now reflect Shila, what have you made of yourself tonight? it'll be woooonderful if i have a mirror infront of me every time i converse.so every word that dances off my mouth will be spoken back to me.completely heedful so that i'm always sober of my words.if only i wont trip my tongue anymore, and if only i'd be able to un-do everything.rrrrrrrrrarraraaaaaarrrrrrraaaaaaaaraaaaaaaahhh!



You Silly Girl!